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"People shouldn't cry in public"

The power of vulnerability


I am someone who often consciously forces myself to be vulnerable; it is something I often seek to see in others to truly grasp how I am depicted in their lives. To me, vulnerability, especially in a society where we can so seemingly portray on social media the highlights of our lives rather than the realities of it, can often make others and me included feel that we are alone in our struggles. With this in mind, I try to remind myself constantly of how humility, vulnerability and being both honest and genuine are qualities that to me reflect something above this world.


But why is being vulnerable so important? For men, it slowly erodes the consensus that men are not creatures of feeling that they can converse with their friends with their struggles, they can cry to their partners, they can lean on others. To women it’s a reminder that we don’t need to be perfect, that we are not a depiction of our misfortunes, that our vulnerability as the backbone seemingly teaches those around us. For someone like me with ADHD my vulnerability often lies in my annoying ability to overshare, my need for people to understand but fundamentally to remind people that everyone and I mean EVERYONE has their own struggles.


When I see someone who’s clearly struggling in perhaps a work environment or socially, my heart aches. We as human wear masks daily to hold back reality, the conversations that are too hard to have or even to truly attach to ourselves that we are experiencing. As I currently experience heartbreak myself, I relive this feeling of having to pick myself up, not for me but to refrain from the awkwardness that vulnerability often arises. But perhaps it is not vulnerability we need, but we may need to run from the need to fake it. On the contrary, it is often the faking that helps us to move past and healthily deal with our issues, but in just essentially living, we create this bubble around ourselves, separating our reality and our responsibility. The need to be strong but also appear untroubled is okay sometimes, but when we begin to view our problems as burdens left in our darkness to resolve alone, it amalgamates; it’s the start of abusive relationships, unresolved health conditions and overwhelming depression. I cannot also forget that we forge this line for a reason: to protect ourselves, so ask yourself if you create a space for anyone to be vulnerable around you.


So, I encourage you to take off the mask more often and lean on those around you, to be vulnerable without shame or worry and encourage this in every environment that inhabits you; with that, I end this blog post with one of my favourite quotes from one of my favourite writers.


“To love at all is to be vulnerable” ~ C.S Lewis

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